Powerful Computer Model

COMPUTER DIAGNOSIS

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.” Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.”

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

“Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”

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Going Where No Man-made Object Has Gone Before

This artist’s illustration obtained from NASA on December 21, 2018 shows the New Horizons spacecraft encountering 2014 MU69 nicknamed Ultima Thule a Kuiper Belt object that orbits over a billion kilometres beyond Pluto. (HO / AFP/GETTY IMAGES)

A potential New Year’s gift for all of us is in the works, and a Quebecer will be the key player.

The story comes from the Star Quebec’s Pelletier leads ‘farthest exploration of any planetary body in history’ Excerpts from article in italics with my bolds.

MONTREAL—Frederic Pelletier is boldly predicting he and his team will get the New Horizons spacecraft exactly where it should be on New Year’s Day — 1.6 billion kilometres beyond Pluto to rendezvous with a space rock known as Ultima Thule.

The goal of the NASA mission is to pass by the region known as the “Kuiper Belt” and send data back to Earth that can help explain the origins of the solar system. The flyby of Ultima Thule is being described by the space agency as the “farthest exploration of any planetary body in history.”

NASA says by exploring the region beyond Pluto, scientists can learn more about comets, small planets and other material dating back to the era when planets were formed — 4.5 billion years in the past.

By the time the New Horizons spacecraft makes its closest approach to Ultima Thule — scheduled for 12:33 a.m. eastern standard time on Jan. 1, 2019 — the vehicle will be 6.6 billion kilometres from Earth.

“It’s very difficult, we don’t have much information about (Ultima Thule),” Pelletier said in a recent interview with The Canadian Press. “I’m a bit nervous, but I feel confident … all the stars are aligned.”

NASA contracted Pelletier to be the chief navigator of the spacecraft for the New Horizons mission, whose original plan was to fly past Pluto. The team reached its goal when the vehicle successfully flew by the dwarf planet on July 14, 2015, and sent back data “that resulted in profound new insights about Pluto and its moons,” according to the space agency’s website.

The voyage beyond Pluto to the Kuiper Belt is part of the extended mission.

Pelletier and his eight-member team are responsible for delivering the spacecraft, which is the size of a baby grand piano, to the target.

It will fly by Ultima Thule at a distance of about 3,500 kilometres, going 14 kilometres a second — or 50,000 kilometres an hour. Pelletier compared it to a motorist inside a car who is trying to look at a lamppost.

“It’s going by real fast,” he said.

Pelletier said scientists estimate Ultima Thule to be about the same size as Washington D.C.

“It’s estimated to have a diameter of 30 kilometres right now,” Pelletier said. “We suspect that it’s not going to be spherical, that it’s going to have some weird shape to it. There’s also the possibility that it will be a binary asteroid — two objects touching each other or in close formation.”

What has made the task even more challenging for the Quebec City native is the fact that it takes six hours for the signal from Earth to reach the spacecraft and another six hours to return.

“So when we plan manoeuvres to do uplinks and updates, we need to take that into account,” Pelletier noted.

The New Horizons spacecraft blasted off Jan. 19, 2006, for its trip to Pluto, and since 2015, has been moving deeper into space. The mission is being hosted by Johns Hopkins University’s Applied Physical Laboratory in Laurel, Md., where Pelletier and his team are working.

Ultima Thule was first detected in 2014 using the Hubble Space Telescope, meaning the rock was only discovered after the New Horizons launch.

NASA says scientists estimate there are several hundred objects with a diameter longer than 30 kilometres waiting to be discovered in what’s known as “the third zone” of our solar system.

“I’m an explorer,” Pelletier said. “I love going to places (that are) unexplored — we’re on the edge of the solar system. The Kuiper Belt was only discovered in the 1990s.”

Until the Jan. 1 flyby, Pelletier will keep busy monitoring Ultima Thule, barely giving him time to celebrate his 44th birthday on Friday, Dec. 28.

But his wife and two boys, aged 9 and 12, will be flying up to Maryland to join him in the coming days.

Pelletier has worked on a number of other space missions, including the voyage the Cassini spacecraft took to Saturn, and he also participated in the Mars Curiosity landing.

Footnote:

I really like this story.  My only disappointment is the name of the rock could have been so much better.
uma world

Happy New Year Everyone,  May your 2019 Exceed Expectations!.

 

 

Timeline Of Human Activity In Antarctica

Antarctica, Earth’s southernmost continent, faces numerous threats from climate change, but many people don’t know very much about the isolated area. The Onion looks back at a history of exploration, scientific study, and human activity in Antarctica.

1490:
Lost European explorers perplexed by how cold India is.

1820:
Discovery of Antarctica sends world ice prices plummeting.

1911:
Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen beats British explorer Robert Falcon Scott in the race to the South Pole after Scott falters during the critical Ross Ice Shelf sprint stage.

1917:
Ernest Shackleton completes the first successful mission to get a boat stuck in Antarctic pack ice and be forced to live miserably on a floe for months.

1935:
Caroline Mikkelsen becomes the first person to experience sexism on Antarctica.

1959:
The Antarctic Treaty is signed in Washington, placing a moratorium on natural resource exploitation and preventing penguins from industrializing the continent and entering the 20th-century global economy.

1991:
The ratification of the Madrid Protocol declares Antarctica to be a “natural reserve, devoted to peace and science” for the remaining 50 years of its existence.

2005:
The film March Of The Penguins documents Antarctica’s disturbing descent into fascism.

2018:
OK, earthquakes under the Antarctic peninsula have caused it to droop a bit, but erectile dysfunction is common and treatable.

Story comes from the Onion (here) with my improving their final observation.

Outbreak of Fake Hurricane Reports

Inspired by the Weather Channel’s reporter faking the strength of winds, social media is going viral with numerous videos expanding on the theme.  A compilation can be viewed above.

The watershed video from Weather Channel (pun intended) inadvertently showing people walking around normally in the background.

 

Climate Comics

It takes a properly skeptical mindset to see the humor in the behavior of those believing in global warming/climate change. Here are some cartoons that came to my attention recently.

Paris Accord



Media Climate Reporting

Biased Climate Science


Misguided Climate Policies

b45fee974eb5b959a6718fbac960afbc

the-wind-should-pick-up-any-minute-now

H/T to Lisa Benson, Chip Bok,  Mike Lester, Michael Ramirez  and Gary Varvel.  Work by Rick McKee was featured in a previous post Cavemen Climate Comics

 

 

Global Cooling Celebration


Be sure to turn on the sound to appreciate the video.

So the Al Gore Global Cooling effect is muted at the COP23 site in Bonn Germany with temperatures only slightly below normal, but with rain every day.  Elsewhere in North America winter is making an early appearance.  For example in Montreal we woke up this morning with -8C and some snow in the street.

Here is the snow cover map from yesterday showing Siberia fully covered along with Alaska and northern Canada.  As seen in the video above climate realists are dancing over the demise of the warmist fantasy.

 

 


			

Cavemen Climate Comics for Sunday

 

This storm season is frightening and has climatists freaking out.  Perhaps some comic relief is in order. This post is a collection of cartoons that put modern awarenesses into cavemen conversations. It was inspired by a great cartoon from Rick McKee of the Augusta Chronicle which appears near the end.  H/T  WUWT.

As we shall see, some modern ideas aren’t far removed from stone age thinking.  For example, the cartoon above portrays the invention of environmentalism to repudiate technology advances

Then we have the inevitable social pressure to put down backward people.

Virtue signaling provides a way for the unevolved to fit in.

Eventually, social media overwhelms scientific progress.

Of course climate social discourse depends on magical thinking.

Rick McKee of the Augusta Chronicle H/T  WUWT.

Footnote:

Postmodern social media also have unfortunate side effects.

Postscript

On a more serious note, these events remind me what Michael Crichton wrote in State of Fear (2004).

Our planet is five billion years old, and it has been changing constantly all during that time. […] Our atmosphere is as violent as the land beneath it. At any moment there are one thousand five hundred electrical storms across the planet. Eleven lightning bolts strike the ground each second. A tornado tears across the surface every six hours. And every four days, a giant cyclonic storm, hundreds of miles in diameter, spins over the ocean and wreaks havoc on the land.

The nasty little apes that call themselves human beings can do nothing except run and hide. For these same apes to imagine they can stabilize this atmosphere is arrogant beyond belief. They can’t control the climate.

The reality is, they run from the storms.

More at In Praise of Michael Crichton